DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR - Essay

     “Four fifteen already,, fucken great, that's just fucken great”.  A lousy fucken bank, I can't believe these asshole's don't prepare for Friday's when everybody is cashing their pay checks.  Look at all these shitheads on line in front of me too.  I can't believe this, don't these people have anything else to do.  Three, five, seven, ten.  Ten people on line in front of me.  I might as well just bring a bed in here and get some sleep, cause Lord knows it's gonna take this brain child teller a couple days to get to me.

     How in the hell did anyone so stupid get a job handling money.  Oh never mind I see it, look at the size of the melons on her.  I suppose if I were her boss and dogging her like he surely is, than I would have given her a job too.  It looks to me like she's one wild ride.

     Great, thanks you fat fucken slob, thanks for blocking my view.  Ted's plumbing, what a joke, a job  where the only skill required is to show the crack of your ass to the world, and drink beer all day.  Look how many nips there are in here, Christ why do they have to bank here.  They own everything in the world as it is, why can't they just go back to there own country.

     Man oh man, look at this shit coming in, a nigger and his fucken nigger son.  Look how this fuck is dressed, two earrings in each ear, five or six gold necklaces, and all in leather.  Jesus a fucken drug dealer is using my bank..  Fuck this country is going to shit, there outta be laws against people who dress like that.

     Will you ever shut up, fucken Italian Guido mother fucker been yacking to every girl in the bank, since I've been here.  What a fucken mouth on him too.  Well at least he's white.

NEXT

     Thank God I'm net.  It can't be much longer now, even with this bitch taking her fucken time.

NEXT

HI, I'D LIKE TO MAKE A DEPOSIT, ONLY I FORGOT MY ACCOUNT NUMBER.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT MR.?

     MMM, Nancy is it.  Well Nancy I'd like to bend you over this counter and go to town.  What do you think about that?

CONNLEY, JOE CONNELY.

ALL RIGHT MR. CONNLEY WILL THIS BE A CHECKING OR SAVINGS DEPOSIT.

EVERYBODY ON THE FLOOR!  NOW LETS MOVE IT GET ON THE FUCKEN FLOOR!

     Oh my God, the banks being robbed.  Look at all these sheep, not a soul doing anything to stop these bastards.  I guess it's up to me to stop them.  How many of them are there?  Three, I see three of them.  I'll get you bastards just you wait.

     YOU, PUT YOUR EYE'S DOWN!  STOP LOOKING AROUND!

     Alright, I'm looking down.  You just don't turn your back on me, if you know whats good for you.

     That's it turn around you fuck, now's my chance, its now or never.  AAArrrrggh, I got him, now if I can just reach his shotgun.  Almost, almost there, got it.  Man is this guy strong.  Damn his two friends are coming for me,  I didn't expect this guy to be so strong.  If I can just move the shotgun a little more to the left and BANG!, that's one fucker down.

     Now push the shotgun towards him and pull it away, almost one more time and got it.  You stupid fuck that's all for you.  Now how would you like to taste the butt of a shotgun.  

     BANG!

     Oh, shit that other asshole shot me.  Stay cool, stay calm, chamber a round and BANG!, that's all for him.

     Holy shit, thank you Mr. Connley, thank you, you saved us.  Its Joe, Nancy and I only did what had to be done.  Now be careful this one's still alive.  Someone get me something to tie this guy up with until the police get here.

     That's him officer that' Joe Connley, he's so brave and wonderful.  He saved us all, oh but he's hurt you have to help him.

                                                                                 2

You Joe Connley?

Yes officer I'm Joe Connley.

Well, Mr. Connley I must say it is a pleasure to meet you.  Hows your shoulder, let me get you a doctor.

It's alright officer, the shoulders not bad, I'll be fine.  You just get that scum out of here.

Yes sir Mr. Connley, you know you should get a medal or something.

OFFICER!  OFFICER!  OH THANK GOD, I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO KILL US ALL.

IT'S ALRIGHT WE CAUGHT THEM ABOUT A BLOCK FROM HERE.  THEY WON'T BE BOTHERING ANYBODY FOR A LONG TIME.

NOW, WHO'S THIS.

I DON'T KNOW I THINK HE SAID HIS NAME WAS CONWAY, OR SOMETHING.  THEY SHOT HIM FOR NO REASON AT ALL.  ONLY BECAUSE HE LOOKED UP AT ONE OF THEM.  LORD ONLY KNOWS WHAT HE WAS THINKING.