Why I Write - Essay

     “I give all this background information because I do not think one can assess a writer's motives without knowing something of his early development.  His subject matter will be determined by the age he lives in—at least this is true in tumultuous, revolutionary age like our own—but before he ever begins to write he will have acquired an emotional attitude from which he will never completely escape.”

     I can't say that I truly have any early memories about writing.  That is to say, about putting words to paper or the process itself.  I am certain that I hated being forced to do it, which I'm certain I was.  I have since reasoned out that I hate it—and hated it because I am dyslexic.  I am not going to go into great detail about my dyslexia here, as the first piece in my portfolio, What the Monkey Said, is a semi-autobiographical piece expressing my thoughts on dyslexia.  It is enough to say that as a dyslexic I am forced to overcome a well-ingrained inferiority complex every time I write.

     A friend's mother came across and showed me a poem I had written in the first grade.  The poem was added into a newsletter the school sent to the parents.  I have no recollection of ever writing it.  However, I guess you could call that my earliest written work.  One of my most successful too, as it made it to publication.  I think the poem could be considered a fluke, as I never remember getting any encouragement when it came to writing.  This one poem would be the extent of my writing up until I entered the Marine Corps.  During high school, I started to discover words and the way in which they can be formed together.  Mostly this took the form of reading some lyrics; because of course, I had no confidence in, or support for any type of written work.  Towards the end of high school, I managed to start adding a small amount of creative flavor to my written school projects, but this was a little too little and a little too late.  This did help my grade point average as well as my overall outlook upon my schoolwork.

     Still, it wasn't until I entered the Marine Corps and settled into my MOS (or job) at my first duty station that I was given a real taste of writing.  I was a military policeman; as such, I was required to write several incident reports a day.  The reports were mostly putting the who, what, when, and where on paper (almost like journalism except without the bias input).  It was the Marine Corps though; so every little detail had to be meticulously worded and ordered.  Report writing became quite routine, and with the exception of my pesky dyslexia poking its head up now and again, I became quite good at it.  I found that I was not suited for police work or the military, and left when my hitch was up.  I went to Dutchess Community College, majoring in communications with a concentration in video production.  While at Dutchess, I took some writing classes starting my active interest in creative writing.  After Dutchess, I attended Ithaca College where I majored in film and minored in creative writing.  In the course of my film studies I also took some screenwriting courses.

     I started this essay quoting from George Orwell's Why I Write.  I chose this particular piece because I think it holds itself very relevant to the questions you asked us to consider when we write our essays.  I believe you must know at least some of my background in order to understand my future.  My reason for pursuing this degree are ingrained throughout my history with, or should I say without, writing.  My reasons are simple: this is the next logical step.  I started my life with a handicap which blinded me to something that I not only want to do, but feel I must do to be complete  A master degree to me is more than just a piece of paper, more than a scholastic accomplishment, it is a validation of my now chosen profession.  An affirmation to a talent I believe I posses.  A talent that was betrayed, rejected, and even laughed at in my youth.  A masters degree to me is a way of taking back some of what I believe was stolen from my life.

     I am not certain how a master's degree can help my career in any other way than giving me the self-confidence I desire.  Perhaps, it will open doors for me, however, more importantly I think it will be a source of inner peace than of worldly gain.  As I said before, it is a validation of who I am and what I am doing with my life.  Simply, I want to write, to express, to bring to light wrongs that I have found, and to tell the stories that only I can tell.  I know this may not seem like the answer you are looking for, but it is the only honest answer I can give.  I have survived twenty-nine years.  I have held a wide range of jobs, from an attendant on a horse trailer, to janitor, to military police, cable, drywall, and the list goes on and on.  I have traveled some of the world visiting and living in places like Texas, North Carolina, Okinawa, Japan, and many others.  During this life of mine, I have encountered an uncountable number of people in an unending variety of circumstances.  Weather I was apprehending them, cleaning up after them, or just visiting.  I could not help but notice how they lived.  The similarities and the differences between all of them.  These are the things that I will provide for your writing program.  An outlook on life and a history, that while almost exclusively is blue collar, is exclusively my own.  It is my sincere hope that these things I have expressed to you today are the things you are looking for, and I hope to meet you all while I am attending Manhattanville.

                                                                                                                                          Tim Mackie

79 Park Avenue #503
Danbury, CT 06810