Skip to main content

Underdog in the Underworld - Essay


The following is an excerpt from a conversation between Underdog, the famous cartoon hero, and Jim Morrison, legendary leader of the Doors on the meaning of life.  That is, if the dead can still have any concept about the meaning of life.

MORRISON:  Hey man, you're, a dog.  That's cool.  I say a dog once floating among the clouds.  It was pissing down on some trees, like an acid rain, finding its way into the waiting open mouths of the children.  The children of the happy blind mice waiting below.

UNDERDOG:  Have no fear, Underdog is here.

MORRISON:  Wow!  You talk too!  Hey man, you ain't gonna tell me to kill anyone, like that fuckin Son of Sam shit, are you?   Tell me who are you now, and who were you before?  Could you capture your own soul if your hands are fast enough, and what are the colors that lace your mind when all the light has gone out of the world?  Oh, shit man.  I can't stop quoting myself.
You know....I knew an Indian once who talked with riddles for the mind.  He would draw them in the sands of the desert and let the sands blow them away.

UNDERDOG:  There's no need to fear; our immortality is clear.  With my secret energy pill, that I keep in my ring, my strength will be renewed and I can do my thing—save my sweet Polly Purebred!

MORRISON:  Pills.  Yeah, I know all about pills.  Leapers, Co-pilots, Blue Angels, Yellow Jackets.
Who is the mad-man to give out pills of eternal life, and who is more mad the giver of the gift or the fool who receives it.

UNDERDOG:  Mad!  I'm not mad.  I'm not even a dog.  Look my name's Wally Cox, Mr. Peepers—You know?  This robber came into my house one night and murdered me.  The bastard split my skull open with my own nine iron.  God, I loved being a comedian.  I was good at it too, you know. People, they don't care, all they remember me as is Underdog.  Uh, say can you help me out of this costume?

MORRISON:  What do you see life as?  I see it as a tree.

UNDERDOG:  Yeah, well I see life as a tree, to.  But, that's only because I'm trapped in a beagle costume.

MORRISON:  A tree, the king of all creatures.  Watch it bend with the strong quests of wind, yet you can watch it rise up straight and strong to dominate in the peaceful climate.

UNDERDOG:  Damn zipper's stuck.  Say could you--?

MORRISON:  What would you have me say.  Do you think life is the Suto-Metaphorical Sustenance of Creation.  NO!  Rather it is guts and internal organs mixed together with bowel movements, and set on fire to reach a white hot intensity.  So as to create Pain, Remorse, and a constant yearning to be FREE.

UNDERDOG:  I hate this place.

MORRISON:  Yeah....me too.

As our light fades into blackness, the mellow sounds of Metallica fill the air.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fall in New England - Essay

     There's nothing like fall in New Hampshire.  The picturesque landscape, the cool crisp air, the peaceful feeling you get inside.  When I was young, my family would take its vacations in Lyme, New Hampshire.  We would visit a farm my Aunt Billie and Uncle Charlie owned.  It was a working farm at one time, however that was before I was born.  Now there are only a few cows and chickens left.  We would go up in the fall when the leaves start to change, and before the weather became bad.  The farm was all rolling fields that seemed to go on forever.  Just when you think that you couldn't go on any further you make it to the Connecticut River.  The River divides New Hampshire and Vermont.  It's a beautiful wide river gliding along strong and peacefully contradicted only by the erosion of its banks.  The banks are set about seven feet above the water, as it dug itself securely into the earth.  I never went swimmi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Channel Five News

     The news program I watched was the Sunday Night 10 o'clock News on Channel Five.  I estimated commercials to take 8-12 minutes of this half hour program.  In the remaining 18-22 minutes approximately 2 minutes and 30 seconds could be considered creative and even these had negative overtones.  These stories included a two minute piece on children's safety tips in winter sports; and 30 seconds covering the Golden Globe Awards; the Queen's first time out in public since her accident and Prince Charles' people-meeting trip which has received no press coverage.      The rest of the show was filled with destructive stories ranging from the aftermath of the California earthquake to John Bobbit being sued by a woman who claims he fathered her child.   Some of the other stories included a woman who claimed she was kidnapped by the F.B.I. And threatened to keep quiet about her son's murder, of which she is a suspect; the Presiden...
Post a Comment
Read more

The World of Grey - Essay

      I've been trying to find a hero in this world of Grey.      Looking for something concrete in the shadows of today.         The black and white of yesterday has merged into one.      The roads to our future are blending with today.      Mixing, blending, merging closer together in every way.      Closer, and closer but somehow further apart, we stand.      Trying to find a hero in our Grey land.      I've been sitting atop silver with my mask in hand. Silver bullets at the ready, but there's not a werewolf in the land.      John Wayne was insensitive and superman's been flawed.      Robin has been killed off so Batman now stands by himself alone.      GI-Joe has lost his innocence and the mighty Casey has gone on strike...
Post a Comment
Read more