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FORGIVE US OUR DEBTS – Humor Writing


     Getting into college, that's probably the most important thing.  You know, the really good college nobody can afford?  If you can afford it, than you probably don't need to go there anyway.  You don't need to learn anything, you'll have enough money to do whatever you want with your life. For the rest of us, however, to wonder where all this money is going to come from.  Well, let's go with the easy answer, our parents.  Honestly, don't they deserve the bill?  After all, they've put us through to this point.  They've prevented us from learning at our maximum potential.  Always telling us to slow down, be careful, not to grow up to fast and putting down everything we believe in simply because they don't understand it.  Yeah, let them foot the bill.

     Only they're not going to foot the bill, are they?  Oh yeah, sure they say they will.  And they initiate the loan and finical aid forms and plans, assuring you this is the way it's done  After all this is the way they did it, and look how they turned out.  Of course, the economy's been a little tight, but they did manage to get you that Nintendo when you were ten, didn't they?  And look at that car your driving; isn't it their old one?  Sure it's eight years old now, but to listen to them talk, it's still purring like a kitten.  Course you've neglected to tell them that the muffler fell off the other day, and since you don't have any money, you just picked it up and threw it in the trunk.  Then there's the horrible knocking sound in the engine.  It could be dangerous, but its got to be the transmission, so you can't have it looked at because that would mean your car would be gone.  Then what are you gonna do?

     Well, since mom and dad are footing the bill school (so they say), why not just hit them up for a new car?  Because, as I eluded to earlier, they're not paying the bill; you are, and you know it.  See, you're the slacker generation X, the children with no identity.  You're lazy, directionless, and most of all helpless.  Kind of weird description of you, isn't it, considering the amount of work you've done to get this far.  After all, haven't you already learned more about life and its complications than your parents ever dreamed.  Especially, when you consider that you already know you're not going to accomplish anything.

     Sure, your gonna graduate.  You've even managed to pull down some good grades. But, there's no Fortune Five Hundred job waiting for you.  Hell you're not even sure you'd take that kind of job even if it were offered to you.  Nope, all that's waiting is a job at Friendly's; if you're lucky you might even get into their management program.  See, you're the first generation in American history that can't expect to do as well as your parents.  You've known that for a long time, and still you press forward doing those things that are expected of you.  Of course there's no applause for that kind of thing.

     Your parents, they've earned their rest; and you, you're just beginning your journey.  So why do I say you're footing the bill for everything?  Well, let me see if I can spell it our for you.  Picture this, you graduate, get your job at the local Friendly's (the same you had in high school), and in six months you, not your parents, have to start paying off the loans that helped to pay for your schooling.  You remember those loans, don't you?  They're the ones your parents said were a necessity.  So, while your paying off these loans, you meet someone, fall in love (remind me to explain that trap to you one day), and decide its time you take your shot at the American dream and raise a family.  A house and a couple of kids later, your just now starting to get back on your financial feet.  BOOM!  That's when your parents get sick.  You see, they hadn't planned on retirement being so expensive.

     Now, its not there fault.  They're just a part of a vicious cycle.  See, their parents did it to them, just like their grandparents did it to there parents, and none of them ever ONCE thought about inflation.  So what's a fellow to do?  Well, we could all start singing songs from Annie like “It's A Hard Knock Life”.  Or we could legalize Marijuana, drink bourbon and smoke pot till God finds his way back down to earth and asks why we all gave up.  Hey  Here's and idea!  Let God foot the bill! Sure!  No problem.  Isn't that supposedly what Christianity's all about anyway?

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